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One morning years ago, I was sitting at a coffee shop across from my priest. She is a wild loving soul who likes to shake things up. Her charisma and openness helped heal my relationship with the church. Sitting in service with her was like a warm bath, so soothing. She would have us sit in a circle with our chair or pews and play with the passages in the Bible, reminding us that we all can have a unique perspective to share. She would sprinkle in quotes by Rumi or other beautiful spiritual traditions, as if to remind us that all is love and love is all. There really is no difference. And I was drawn to her immediately.
We got coffee for the first time, and I will never forget as she looked across the table deep into my eyes.
She said,
You are a very courageous woman.
This was the first time I had been told that, and I believed her instantly. Hmm. I thought that if this is true, which it is, then I have a fire within from which to create with. Being courageous isn’t necessarily not having fear, it is being willing to walk through the fear knowing something beautiful is being birthed on the other side. This conviction is deep.
How do we practically move through fear?
One tool that can develop our courage within like a muscle is meditation.
Meditation teaches us that we need not look away from hard things or on another hand be attached or all consumed by hard things in our lives. Either way is like adding fuel to the fire. If you run away in numbing, then whatever it is that is troubling will continue to haunt. Like the saying goes, “wherever you go, there you are.” The antidote, to welcome.
On the other hand, when we are caught in a cycle of grasping our thoughts and emotions we can be engulfed, losing our power to make choices. The antidote, to release. Through welcoming and releasing, instead of grasping and running/numbing, meditation teaches us non judgmental compassion and deep self kindness.
So we sit on our mats and practice. We watch our thoughts, troubling moments, deep intense emotions, and we honor them. We practice courage as we sit as a authentic witness to our lives from the seat of our Soul.
The following metaphor has helped me in my meditation practice. Imagine a bee inside a room you are sitting in. For most, this isn’t a comfortable space. If you keep the door closed, ignoring the bee, the bee eventually will die. This is not a great solution. Or if you chase the bee around, this causes the bee to be irritated and even sting you. This won’t help either. However, if you simply open the door the bee will find its way out and it won’t become a problem. This metaphor has helped me throughout my life when I want to control and chase or when I want to ignore and run away – neither of which solve anything or bring me back to the power within, to my Soul, to my courage.
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Meditation helps us to surrender. And to be surrendered is to be courageous.
There is a part within me that is called the good girl. This part has spent her whole life trying to be good all the time. When I was walking in nature a few months ago, she courageously spoke. She laid on the soft snow in the middle of the woods and declared that she is done being sad, and she is tired of being scared. Instead of running away through striving to be good, she welcomed what was underneath – the sadness and fear. In this welcoming and surrender, she was able to find peace again, comfort from Mother Nature.
Life really can be simple, when we slow down and reorient ourselves through meditation, surrender, and courage.